“…No one, no one is more disappointed than I am in that result.”

A: So you’re looking to diversify your talents after spending too long in the IT side of the market?

B: As I see it “The bottom line is I got it wrong by being overexposed to subprime and I suffered as a result of an unprecedented liquidity squeeze and deterioration in that market.”

A: So you’re looking for different work?

B: Well you’ve got to really. It’s like a shark.

A: I see – the pinnacle of evolution – perfection in every detail.

B: Not really. I mean you’ve got to keep moving or you die.

A: Is that really true for sharks?

B: I doubt it. Since I’ve been watching Q.I. and reading about new research from scientists I have no faith in anything I believe to be true any more.

A: Such as…

B: One moon, the Corby trouser press not originating in Corby, death being bad for you…

A: These things aren’t true?

B: Probably not. Life is far more complicated these days.

A: It’s always been problematical for me.

B: Yes but you’re only 8. You had no simple past to look back on. No times when policemen rode bicycles, gave you a clip around the ear for scrumping apples, and swerved their panda cars home after a 3 hour shut-in at the British Legion. Ah. Simple days.

A: Dangerous days.

B: Possibly, but in a nicer, no publicity, way.

A: I’m still confused about what I’m supposed to do.

B: How so?

A: Well am I supposed to pretend I believe in Father Christmas, eat all my food and play computer games?

B: Of course.

A: But it doesn’t make sense. You buy me a computer, lots of games then tell me I spend too much time playing on it. Ditto red meat, mobile phones, the Disney Channel. As I say it’s confusing.

B: I see.

A: You also tell me how great life was when you were a child. You could play out all summer long, on your own, in a local wood for 14 hours each and every gloriously sunny holiday day. Yet if I go further than the end of the drive…

B: Well – things are different now.

A: Statistically not I think. The stats on child murders, harmers, etc haven’t changed significantly since Victorian times.

B: Good point.

A: Another thing. Say you gave me all your money for three months and I not only lost it but left you with a debt of say, $8.4 billion you wouldn’t be too pleased would you?

B: Probably not.

A: You wouldn’t pat me on the head; say “take some time off and go shopping” would you?

B: No.

A: And you wouldn’t give me $160 million to spend on aforementioned shopping would you?

B: Of course not. That would be silly.

A: I’ve one more question for you.

B: Shoot.

A: How do you apply for a job with Merrill Lynch?


Published by: byron kalies

Writer, golfer and golf writer, I have developed and moved on (not permanently in case there are any publishers reading this) from the relatively straightforward world of management consultancy with motivation, leadership, change matrices, decision making, communication, customer care, bottom lines, double-loop learning, stress, attribution theory, behavioural interviewing, project management, group think and Johnson and Scholes’ Cultural Web, to the complex and unfathomable world of describing places where people can hit a ball into a hole. I have written for a number of golf magazines and newspapers including 'Golf International' , 'wales on Sunday' and am currently golf correspondent for Cambria Magazine (Wales's Magazine) and blogger for Wales Online.

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