A: So, tell me again, what exactly do you do all day?

B: I’m a trainer stroke management stroke personal consultant.

A: I refer the right honourable gentleman to my previous question.

B: Well it depends….

A: On…

B: On what I’m training, consulting….

A: Please. Just give me a clue. It’s for my homework.

B: Well, for instance, last week it was diversity, assertiveness and customer care…

A: Diversity being?……

B: Encouraging people to get along, be nice to each other, respect differences…

A: And they pay you to do that?

B: Of course.

A: Why would they need you to teach them that?

B: Because some people don’t act very nicely toward other people who are different.

A: Like Gretchen?

B: Gretchen? The new girl in your class?

A: That’s right some of the children picked on her?

B: Because she’s different?

A: That’s right.

B: Because she’s Scottish?

A: No.

B: New? Wears glasses?

A: No and no.

B: What then?

A: Because she’s a cat.

B: I see.

A: But it’s OK because we’ve taken her into our cat gang now.

B: Right. And the children picking on her were…?

A: Dogs.

B: Real dogs.

A: No. They like dogs better than cats, of course. We don’t have real dogs in our class.

B: Of course.

A: So what’s assertiveness about?

B: Pretty much the same really.

A: Customer care?

B: Ditto – to customers.

A: So, let me check this. You get paid a fair amount of money for the one song. Is that right?

B: As did Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Status Quo……

A: ?

B: Before your time. And anyway I didn’t hear you complaining when you wanted new sandals.

A: Touche.


Published by: byron kalies

Writer, golfer and golf writer, I have developed and moved on (not permanently in case there are any publishers reading this) from the relatively straightforward world of management consultancy with motivation, leadership, change matrices, decision making, communication, customer care, bottom lines, double-loop learning, stress, attribution theory, behavioural interviewing, project management, group think and Johnson and Scholes’ Cultural Web, to the complex and unfathomable world of describing places where people can hit a ball into a hole. I have written for a number of golf magazines and newspapers including 'Golf International' , 'wales on Sunday' and am currently golf correspondent for Cambria Magazine (Wales's Magazine) and blogger for Wales Online.

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